She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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