I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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