I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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