Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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