He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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