does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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