Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Randomize
