I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize