i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
