You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
