why didn't you poke me back
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize