Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
