you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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