Tell her she can't have a vagina
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
