She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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