Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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