Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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