I wannas sexs uuuuu
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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