What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
