yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
third nipple confirmed
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
