I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Randomize
