Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
