you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
