Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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