in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it glows. i had to have it.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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