Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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