morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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