I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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