You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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