Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
tell me about the fingering
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