I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
