We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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