I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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