Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
