how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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