glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Jerry, you need to find god
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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