I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
