a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
