Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
