Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
