I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I am one with the molecules
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize