I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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