I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
