I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
