he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
