i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
