Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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