Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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