Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
