I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
