i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize