My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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