dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
