My Higher Power is John Stamos
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
