dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
