Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize