is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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