kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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