drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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