It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
