my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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