you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize