ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
