We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
