Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
