it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
