Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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