He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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