i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
