Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
