Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
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